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My personal theme for the year is to Be Curious & Be Brave.  I’m not big on setting new years resolutions and goals.  They don’t inspire me – AT ALL.  What does inspire me is the idea of challenging myself to be more authentic, passionate, generous, forgiving, thoughtful, open, and courageous every day.

When we were in Beaver Creek Colorado, I saw this statue and was immediately captivated by it.  I just stood there staring at it for the longest time.  I love how the child doesn’t shrink back in fear while the bear comes close.  Both curious, both brave.  Obviously this doesn’t translate in the literal sense, but I can think of a handful of “bears” in my life that I have shied away from simply due to some form of fear.

Sometimes the first step in overcoming fear is to stop making excuses for it and see it for the ugly, suffocating parasite that it is.  If we live in fear long enough it becomes so normative that we don’t even question it anymore.  If everyone else we know lives that same way than it’s not even seen as a problem – it’s just REALITY.

I’m not cool with that kind of reality.

My dream is that my kids would be WILD and FREE.  WISE and BOLD.  GENTLE and STRONG.  Precious little ones that refuse to measure their journey against anyone else’s or become paralyzed by the fear of failure or what others will think of them.

If I want my kids to be all of those things that means I have to be moving in that direction myself first.

This year I want to cultivate a Courageous Curiosity to dig deeper and see the beauty and potential that lies beneath the surface.  I want to see past the obvious and peer into the veiled space not immediately apparent without careful examination.  A treasure hunter!

It takes very little effort to see what is messed up in everyone and everything, but bravery to:

• See the beauty in the ordinary
• Recognize strength in weakness
• Embrace those that are nothing like us
• Pursue dreams without guarntees
• Live for the audience of One

I love the words to Sara Bareilles’ song “Brave.”

Everybody’s been there,
Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy
Fallen for the fear
And done some disappearing,
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, just stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

So I’m checking my fear and preconceived ideas at the door and stepping into this year with open hands and an open heart.  Here’s to being Curious and Brave in 2014!

I took the leap and tried fried frog legs for the first time recently and have to say, I showed ridiculously poor frog leg eating skill and etiquette.  I was so worked up with the idea of eating fried frog legs for the first time that it never occurred to me that they wouldn’t be boneless.

Doh.

My brain totally went blank.  It took a while to compute that I had just bit into bone.  I actually thought – wow, this is really tough meat!

I can’t say I’ll be lining up for fried frog legs again any time soon.  They were basically deep fat fried bones with very little meat on them.  It was fine.  But, i mean, I just ate fried frog legs!  Cool right?  The boys were pretty impressed.  Unfortunately, it was girls night out so my little guys didn’t get in on the action.

We will have to remedy that.

As a little girl we had a lot of foreign exchange students in and out of our house.  They introduced us to all kinds of “strange” ethnic foods.  I basically grew up on fish head soup and yogurt cake so I guess once you’ve gone down that path it’s not a big stretch to find yourself bellied up to a frog leg buffet.

Seems like a pretty natural conclusion to me.

Whether you are in a far away land or your own backyard, experiencing culture through food is so much fun! If you want to try fried frog legs for yourself, here is a recipe.  Go for it!  Chances are your kids will think you are hardcore!

So it was me vs. fried frog legs.  The frog legs came out on top.  But I’ve learned a few things, and next time around they won’t be so lucky.

What’s the weirdest food you’ve ever tried?

It’s amazing the difference a year makes.  This week marks one year since we moved back to Seattle.  We were originally going to settle down somewhere in or near Boulder, Colorado.  We wanted to be nestled up against the rocky mountains after having lived in the flats of the midwest for five years.  We dropped our stuff off at a storage unit in Denver before our road trip began and didn’t know when we would see our belongings again – and didn’t care!  We were SO excited to explore the open road.

Living like a free birds and traveling from place to place was the experience of a life time.  Longtime dreams were fulfilled, adventures were had.   It was AMAZING.  As time went on though, it became increasingly clear that our son’s health concerns were something that had to be addressed as the issues around his special needs became more and more difficult to manage.  Our business was not getting the attention it needed to thrive on the road and our support system in Colorado was not as solid as we thought.

We were devastated.  Our hearts were broken.

Our time on the road was clearly winding down and to start over again in a new place with few resources and support was a foolish thing to do moving forward.  We needed to find a home, set down roots, and regroup.  We needed help.

We came to Seattle weary and worn, battered and bruised.   In desparate need of family to surround us while everything was falling apart around us.  So:

• Our family of five moved into my parents ONE BEDROOM basement apartment!
• We lived out of our suitcases for the next 6 months while our stuff was packed away in Denver.
• David closed our business, went back to Microsoft and got health insurance.
• We went to doctor after doctor to try and find help for our son.
• We put the boys in public school for the very first time.

As time passed things began to settle down.  We slowly transitioned from being on life support to breathing on our own once again.  Getting our footing little by little and coming out of what was the most difficult season of our lives yet.   I feel like I have aged about ten years in one!  The lines of my face show it and the tenderness of my heart bears witness.

I am grateful.  Grateful that our lives have purpose.  That each chapter of our story always ends with the beautiful pen stokes of an author who reminds us that he knows the end from the beginning.   That precious things are formed in darkness and that the movements of our heart towards trust, love and openness – when everything in us wants to shut down – count.

It’s hard to be vulnerable.  To tell others that you are weak and need them to come along side of you.

I’m thankful for:

• Our family and friends who rose to the occasion and embraced us at our messiest.
• Doctors that were insightful and dedicated to helping us.
• Fresh air.
• Breakthrough for our son!!!  I’ll have to write about Neurofeedback and how it has transformed our family!
• A home next to the cascade mountains.  The picture above was taken from our guest room and every time I look out our windows I am reminded that God’s ways are better than mine.  Every time.
• David – who has my heart.

We always said we didn’t want to permanently move back to Seattle because of the grey skies, rain and traffic.  I don’t know that we would have moved back had the pressure not been as intense.  Now, I can’t imagine anyplace I’d rather be.  We have fallen in love with the Pacific Northwest in a way that we never imagined possible.  This time we are armed with copious amounts of vitamin d, rain boots, and the carpool lane!

Isn’t it funny how sometimes the BEST thing for us is the very thing we would never do for ourselves?!  If you are in a difficult season, I hope this reminds you that there is hope and that your darkness is forming something rare and beautiful in your life.